Stupid is as Stupid Does ; \

Well, it's time for a little break from the crime and creep factors. How about a little humor? I often see so much about crime, criminals, and modus operandi but every once in while, I run across the criminals' fails and stupidity, which makes my job easier to handle.  I'd like to share a few with you.

Here are some stupid criminals that not only fail on the concept of crime, but also on the concept of not getting caught. These are the best kind.

This Oklahoma man got into deep doo-doo -- LITERALLY -- when police say he hid inside a feces-filled septic tank so he could spy on women in a ladies' bathroom.

 This gentleman allegedly tried to commit identify theft while sporting what may be the worst disguise ever. Cops say he was trying to impersonate the man whose picture appeared on a driver's license he had stolen. 

 Take this for what it's worth.

 Chase Bank’s Identity Protection sign up page was found to be using an outdated encryption method which is no longer classified as secure.

If only they were all this stupid.

A woman in La Crosse, Wisconsin decided she could do without 28-year-old Daniel Geiwitz as her sweetheart  So she chose to dump him and take up with another man, which didn't please Geiwitz... Alas, he chose to win her back through methods that haven't worked since dinosaurs were still eating our relatives. First he smashed a snake, cut it in two, and left it on her car. That didn’t impress the girl, so Geiwitz changed tactics. He somehow got a hold of a casket and deposited it in the backyard of his former's sweetheart's new boyfriend. Before he left, he asked them both what they wanted engraved on their headstones. So she called the cops. Geiwitz was arrested for disorderly conduct, intimidation of a witness and stalking.

 An unnamed 34-year-old nursing student at Husson University had a restraining order against Horst Wolk. When the nursing student pulled into a parking lot at school, Wolk rammed her car with his, then jumped out with a knife to attack her. But five female students were nearby and witnessed the incident. Before Wolk could seriously hurt the woman, they intervened. Jesse Hladik, who'd just completed a self-defense course, grabbed the knife. The four others held Wolk on the ground until police arrived. If you take a gander at his booking photo, it looks like they gave his head a little pavement rubdown.

 Hastings police say Jordan Waleski's first mistake was leaving his cell phone at a home he is accused of burglarizing. The homeowner said he went to check on the noise and found a man holding his wife's jewelry box and a Wii gaming system.  The burglar dropped everything he was carrying and fled the scene. As the police talked to the homeowner, a cell phone began to ring. The homeowner said the phone did not belong to anyone in the house. After determining who owned the phone, investigators made contact with Waleski.

 Dayton police say using a false name didn’t help a man detained after a fight because and his fake identities both had the same problem; both names had active arrest warrants. The 42 year old Jared Butler was arrested.

 A 13-year-old girl was playing outside her home in Des Moines, Iowa noticed 48-year-old Robert Harding in a nearby alley and went inside to tell her mother, Holly Pullen, who's very much a mama bear... Holly went to the alley to confront Harding. But instead of being weirded out by the confrontation, Harding asked if Holly wanted to sign the girl away so he could marry her. Pullen thought it was a good point in the negotiations to punch Harding in the face. At about that time, the girl's father showed up with his friends and chased Harding. The police report only says they fought, but judging by Harding's mugshot, dad and his friends forcefully made their case that the girl wouldn't be signed away to a creep lingering in the alley. 

 You could say Victor Burgos is a blithering moron, but that's really being much too kind. He was wanted on a warrant in Utica, New York for domestic violence and harassing a former girlfriend. So Burgos fled to Brooklyn and Utica police put him on their 10 most wanted list. This apparently tickled Burgos, who seems to fancy himself as a romantic desperado of cunning and wit. The aspiring rap promoter no doubt thought woman beating charges would add to his ever-so-dangerous street cred. So he went on his Facebook page to taunt the cops, telling them he was in Brooklyn and even posting of photo of himself walking into a police precinct. When U.S. Marshals and New York City detectives raided his apartment, they found the moron at his computer playing on his Facebook page.



And finally, someone who totally doesn't get it.