Confessions From a Burglar

Tips from a reformed burglary responsible for over 200 home burglaries.

1.       Yes, I do look for newspapers piled up in your driveway. That tells me no one is home to pick them up. If you’re just too lazy to pick them up, I might still assume you’re not home and break in anyway. If you’re home, I may have to do something painful to you to prevent you from calling the police.

2.       I will put a door hanger or flyer on your door and see how long it takes you to remove it. That will let me know how long you’re gone.

3.       I appreciate you installing your alarm keypad by the front door where I can easily see if it’s armed. It’s amazing how many houses I find with their $2000.00 system unarmed throughout the day. Yes, I know it’s kind of a hassle to arm it as you’re rushing out the door. Thanks.

4.       I know that most alarm companies don’t install sensors on the window over the kitchen sinks or second floor windows. I know the master bed-rooms are on the second floor and where most of the valuables are. Hint, I almost NEVER go in the kids’ bedrooms or the laundry room.

5.       Seeing the huge flat screen TV box sticking out of your garbage can just let me know your house is  a sure big score.

6.       I don’t take days off during bad weather. I still have an addiction to feed.

7.       I always knock first. If you answer, I may just ask for directions or offer to clean your gutters. Sometimes, I’ll even carry a clipboard and a rake. Don’t take me up on the offer. If you let me in, that allows me to check out what’s worth breaking in for. I’ll use the cleaning time to check out the outside layout and plan my break in.

8.       Even if I have to break a window and make a little noise, most neighbors will stop what they’re doing and wait to hear it again. If they don’t hear any more noise, they’ll go back to what they were doing. It’s human nature.

9.       You’d be surprised at how many unoccupied houses I find by looking at Facebook and Twitter posts. People are so eager to let everyone know they’re going on vacation. That makes it so much easier for me.

10.   If you don’t answer when I knock, I’ll try another door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot.

11.   I know that even though the front door may have excellent security, the back door usually has a typical flimsy lock.

12.   I know how to unlock a padlock on your gate with soda can in less than one minute.

13.  I know that most alarm companies don’t install sensors on the garage door, which I can open with a coat hanger in less than a minute. Even if your alarm goes off when I open the kitchen door, I just hide inside until the police arrive to verify that all the doors are locked and leave. My partner outside will let me know when the cops leave. I can now work at my leisure while the cops are writing up their false alarm report. When the alarm goes off as I leave, the cops think it’s another false alarm and take their time returning. I’ll be watching your new TV at my place by then.

14.  Thanks for letting me use the bathroom while I was mowing your lawn last week. While I was in there, I unlocked the window to make my entry easier when you’re gone tomorrow.

15. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? Come on. I always check it, as well as the other dresser drawers, the nightstand, and the medicine cabinet.

16. Believe it or not, I actually know what a plastic rock for hiding keys looks like. I also know they’re usually placed within 10 feet from the front door. I’ve actually seen people getting keys out of the plastic rock while I was working on the neighbor’s yard.

17. I can usually tell if there are guns in your house because of the bumper stickers on your car and gun signs on your door. Yes, I know you’re trying to give me a warning, but I’ll just wait till you’re at work, and yes, I’m familiar with the common gun hiding locations. I make really good money selling those guns.

Things that I hate and make my job harder.

1.       Nosy neighbors and barking dogs.

2.       When you have motion detector lights that I can’t reach.

3.       CCTV cameras installed around your house.

4.       A TV or radio on in the house while you’re not home. ( http://www.faketv.com/ )

5.       When I can’t find the good jewelry or cash because it’s hidden in an unusual place, like a used laundry detergent box or a fake aerosol can in the garage.

6.       When people install door knobs and dead bolts that I can’t use my bump key on. (shown at my presentations).

7.       When people use inside locking door chains, door bars and window thumb locks.
(shown at my presentations).

8.       When your safe is bolted to the floor.

9.       Seeing large dog bowls and chew toys by the back door. Even though you don’t have a dog.

10.   Encountering an armed homeowner in a home I thought was unoccupied!

        Some Burglar Survey Results

85% were deterred by hearing a TV or radio in the house.                

75% were more likely to go through windows than doors.                  

85% cased out a house before hitting it.  (shown at my presentations).            

Only 20% picked locks or tried to pick them. Why: it takes too much skill. There are so many faster ways into a house.                

63% cut the phone lines before entering.        
         
65% said that a large unfriendly dog would scare them away. Most frightening:
Dobermans.                  

80% looked in garage windows to see if a home owner’s car was there.             

50% said the neighborhood security guards didn’t deter them.                

72% made their entrance from the back.

56% continued to burglarize if they were already inside when they realized that people were at home but asleep.


Sometimes, well intentioned measures can cause the opposite effect because we tend to over confide in something and let our guard down a bit. Crooks know this and take advantage of our over confidence. They may be criminals but they’re not entirely stupid. Putting a neighborhood watch sign at the entrances of our neighborhood used to deter crooks. They now know that the purpose for those signs has long been forgotten. Now they tell a crook that the residents are over dependent on signs, alarms, and dogs in the back yard.

Some crooks have learned that a family dog you think will shred a crook to bits is actually afraid of intruders. Other crooks have learned that the neglected dog in the back yard would rather eat a piece of chicken the crook brought him than attack him.

A faded or peeling alarm company sticker on your window may tip off the crook to the fact that the alarm is outdated and may even no longer function. There may even be a way to defeat the old system.

Announcing with decals, signs and bumper stickers, that the homeowner is armed also tells the crook that there are guns in the house, a very tempting opportunity for a crook.

                

Warning window sticker.                                                Thin Blue Line bumper sticker.

So what is more important? Creating an illusion of being prepared and living with a false sense of security? Or, actually being prepared and having a peace of mind? If you think cost is an issue, then consider how much it would cost to replace your lost valuables. Don’t believe your insurance company will replace everything. How about dealing with the frustration of dealing with the experience, dealing with the police, fighting with the alarm company who will claim they’re not responsible because you didn’t set the alarm. Knowing that some dirt bag is enjoying the fruits of your labor and laughing about how easy it was.

The fact is that most people believe they already know what to do when it comes to home security based on what “experts” have told them. What they don’t know about is what the “expert crook” knows about the vulnerabilities they have found through experience and trial and error over the years.

 In my presentations, I actually demonstrate some of the latest vulnerabilities and how you can easily remedy them without spending hundreds of dollars. Regardless, it’s much cheaper than having to replace stolen items, personal things that money can’t replace, your dignity and your sense of peace.

Be Safe!